“Beautiful”

Look out behind you, there are a bunch of descriptive words following you trying to make you feel bad about yourself!!!

Our society really likes adjectives, especially ones that relate to appearances.  We’ve become obsessed with our looks, and judge our self-worth through these terms.

“Beautiful” “Sexy” “Skinny”, the words plague us on every magazine cover and cafeteria conversation.  You can’t escape, and it’s enough to make anyone fall out of love with them self.

We want to look a certain way.  We want to fit in.  We want to be beautiful, and we want others to think so too.  It’s a fact of life.  But, it creates insecurities, disorders, and hate.  It’s disgusting.

I’ll be the first to admit it; I don’t like everything about my appearance.  Honestly, I think my face is babyish and weird, and find myself embarrassed by my flat, white girl ass. But, I’m not going to hide my insecurities, because everyone has them.  I believe if we face them together, we will be able to battle them better.

Despite my own insecurities, I really don’t give a fuck.

I face them head on.  Yes, I don’t love my face, but I will not let myself be driven crazy thinking about it.  Don’t let yourself either.  Face your insecurities and make them make you stronger.

I 100% believe in self love, and I believe that you have to accept yourself before you can accept anyone else.  So here’s a word of advice.  No one is perfect, so don’t think you have to be.  Don’t compare yourself to others because they aren’t you.  You are one of a friggen kind.  You are a vintage jacket that is going to sell for a lot of money.  You don’t need to try and be a carbon copy of the people of magazine covers, just be you, be authentic.

Beauty is just an adjective.  It’s not the mountain you must climb to succeed in life or the end game goal.  Beauty is an idea created, and while we can’t destroy it, we can choose to look past it.  I vote we start judging beauty from the inside.  Look at how people treat others, listen to how they laugh when they are watching The Office,  and look for it inside yourself.

 

P.s  If you feel like it, I welcome you to follow in my footsteps and comments on this blog site what you don’t like about yourself, and search for a way to move past it.  It’s all in confidence. Lots of love.

 

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A Rude Awakening

Today I had an unpleasant realization: life is not a movie or a tv show.

How shitty is that?

As a film student, I am well versed in the ebb and flow of stories on-screen.  I know where character development is most likely to occur,  what a “call to adventure” is, and that almost everything ends where it should (except How I Met Your Mother, but that is a topic for another day).

I am accustomed to knowing what the outcome will be.  When the Protagonist will fall down, and I know they  will stand back up before the credits roll.

Recently, life has come to show me, that unlike a rom-com, or a coming of age story, life is not predictable and or wrapped up in 2 hours and 30 minutes.  No, it rambles on and on like Interstellar.

We cannot predict the outcome of the script written for us.  Sometimes the plot is shaky, and feels disconnected.  Sometimes the protagonist and antagonist aren’t clear.  Maybe we aren’t even sure WE are the protagonists of our own stories.  Characters leave, settings change, and whole episodes are based around binge watching.  There is no poetry, no overriding theme, or dance number.

Life is a bunch of misread dialogue, faulty characters, and senseless plot twists.

I guess that is the beauty of life.  To not know how it ends.  It adds a mystery, a feeling of purpose, even if the search for that purpose feels like what should be deleted scenes.

Life is not a movie, but it’s still of story, which gives us, the characters, some control.  It’s like one of those choose your own adventure books we read as kids.  We are born, and from then on, life is an endless stream of possibilities.   Part of the beauty of the lack of a script, is that we can go off the path.  There are no lines, just pivotal moments brought on by our choices.

Yes, sometimes it seems that everything would be better if life was a movie.  Movies are magical, they make you feel alive, vibrant, and inspired.  Life can too.  It may not always be as glamorous, but that is all a front for someone else’s idea of happily ever after.  Make your own movie magic.

My life is not a movie, but I’m going to squeeze a dance number in somewhere.