No, this is not a guide for avid card dealers or people looking to learn how to count cards. This is self-help guide from a very unself-helpful person.
Yeah, you heard me.
I AM TELLING YOU HOW TO LIVE YOUR LIFE.
Actually you can do whatever you want, I just have some thoughts for you.
Very few people know how to deal with themselves in moments of weakness. My Psych professor would say this is because we will never really know who we are, hence, we don’t know how to be there for ourselves very well.
How to Deal:
- Calm the fudge down. Seriously, crying and kicking air conditioners that keep shutting off (I made my toe bleed) will not help you be okay. Everyone calms themselves in different ways so find yours. Maybe its listening to John Mayer, yoga, or watching 90’s sitcoms; find yours.
- Get a big ol’ pint of Phish food and go to town. (If you are vegan, sucks to suck, no one likes soy ice cream.)
- Listen to 1985 by Bowling For Soup, and remember when you were little and heard the r-rated version for the first time and feel that little baby rebel inside.
- Don’t tell my parents I said this, but I think cussing helps a lot…
- Mediate if you want, or just listen to music in the dark.
- Post passive aggressive tweets to delete in an hour.
- Cry a little, not a lot
- Remember bathrooms are great places to chill if you just can’t deal.
- I recommend listening to “Defying Gravity” and then try to do so (don’t jump off buildings though, doesn’t work).
- Find a roof to look over the world you are in. Look at the lights and cars driving past. Feel small then big then small again. Appreciate the beauty, fresh air, and starlight for a moment.
- Take the time to find the Big Dipper at night.
- Take a shower, it’s easier to deal when you don’t smell homeless.
- Watch “Friends”.
- Read “Harry Potter”/re-read “Harry Potter”/
- Go for a walk.
- Follow the butterflies.
- Clean, sometimes it’s good to clean something that’s under your control.
- Write about it, it helps.
- Read my blog
- and finally… EAT POPTARTS
Thank you for pretending to read this.