The World Sucks

After recent events, I felt I should write something about the state of our world.

My view: the world currently kinda sucks.

It seems everyday we are plagued with headlines of shootings, murders, and destruction.  All in the name of what?  Our countries?  Our religions?  Our own self worth?  There is no excuse.

I am afraid of our world.  I’m afraid of the violence and hate.  Where has our love for one another gone?  Yes, it is there.  It is there when terror strikes.  It is there in temporary profile picture covers, and hashtags on twitter.  But that is also an excuse.

We separate ourselves from the horrors outside our front door by hiding behind social media rallies.  We hide smiling selfies behind French flags, and pledge our support to discriminated students across the country through hashtags, but what else are we doing?  Are we doing anything?  #not really

It is hard, I know.  To step outside of Facebook and Twitter and make a difference, but it is needed.  I know I can’t say much, because I am in the same boat.  I don’t know what to do, and I don’t know if there is anything I can do some days.  So yes, I share videos on women’s rights, and wear rainbow pins to support gay rights, and cover myself in black clothes for a black out for students of color, but am I really doing anything?

Yes, and no.

Yes, I am raising awareness which is step one to achieving something.  Yes, I am showing my support.  Yes, I am standing up for what I believe in.

No, I’m staying at home typing into a computer.  No, I’m using caps lock not raising my voice to be heard.  No, I’m not making enough of a difference.

But that is okay.  Because at least we are doing something.  A least 90% of the people on my news feed are aware of what is going on.  So what is the next step?

We need to get beyond social networks and use our feet, our hands, and our minds to make something change.

How to Love Someone From Far Away

I said see ya later to a lot of people when I left for Chapman this fall.

And by a lot of people, I mean everyone I loved… basically.

Leaving was not easy, and the longer I am down here, the more I recognize the importance of the relationships that have lasted.

Here is a list of suggestions for How To Love Someone From Far Away:

  1. Thank goodness for social media.  Like honestly, I have no idea how my parents were able to stay sane without the constant possibility of connecting at the tip of our fingers.  I’m thankful for every text message I am able to send, the instagram pictures I am able to scroll through, and the ability I have to stay connected to my friends lives.
  2. Skype is your best friend, and your parents, and occasionally your dog… What I mean is, I am able to actually look at my favorite people when I talk with them.  I can see their smiles and new haircuts.  (Be warned: prepare for Skype to go on for hours).
  3. Be Random.  Even if people aren’t reaching out first, they will not be upset by you doing so.  I know that I personally feel my heart leap when I get a snap chat from someone out of the blue, even if it’s just a picture of shitty cafeteria food.
  4. Leave space to breathe.  Don’t be overbearing.  Relax and know they love you even if they don’t respond for hours.
  5. Screw that, MESSAGE THEM ALL THE TIME.  If your best friend doesn’t respond because they are busy and have a shit ton to do, understand this, but don’t let this stop you from sending them hundreds of gifs. ( I love you Avery, that’s why I bother you all the time).
  6. Be real.  Say “I miss you”, and “I miss your nice butt”, and normal friend things like that.   Your relationship should not change because of distance.   Tell them the same things you would’ve when you lived in the same town.
  7. Say “I love you”.  Every. Single. Time.  Because it’s easy too question.
  8. Ask your parents to give your dog belly rubs for you.  ( My mom rocks and also talks to my dog about me and tells her what I am up to since I can’t right now).

I thought it would be hard, keeping long distance relationships afloat, but it’s not.  It’s what you put in.  If you love someone and they love you, distance is just a curb to step over.  It stops smooth steps, but it’s easy enough to recover.

It is hard.  It’s hard not to see the people you love everyday.  It’s hard to not let your new world be overrun with your old.  It’s hard to miss moments and only be able to say “hello” over the phone.  And it’s hard to feel alone, but it is worth it.

The excitement I feel every time I see names pop up on Skype is surreal.  Distance stretches you thin, but it only tightens the bonds.  If you can not talk to someone for a month then fall right back into place over Skype, that’s true love.  Being away makes you appreciate what you have, and love every moment you get with loved ones.

To end this I will sign off with a quote:

“Long distance relationships will kill you.” -The Naked Brother’s Band

Nat Wolff has a good point, but I disagree.  Long distance sucks, but it’s worth every sucky second.

Update: It’s Raining at Home

Last weekend was my first time home since arriving at college.

That meant over 2 months away from Oregon and it’s downpours, disdain for umbrellas, and birks with socks.

Anyways, this trip had been a set a month earlier.  This meant a countdown that all my Cali friends grew to know by heart.

When the day came, I couldn’t contain my excitement and talked my Uber drivers ear off on the way to the airport.  The old lady sitting next to me on the plane laughed at my excitement, but I couldn’t help it; I had people waiting for me on solid ground.

Oregon did not disappoint.  I was welcomed home with fog, pouring rain, a beaten up subi, and a new and less snazzy PDX carpet.  I don’t think I’ve ever loved a rainy drive down The Gorge as much as I loved that one.

Going home was surreal.  It was like I was sleepwalking.  Nothing felt completely real at first.  Finally, I was home.  Home with my parents, boyfriend, puppy, and car that I had missed so much.  Everything was the same, but yet I felt different.   Not bad, just different.

At first, I worried that maybe I didn’t fit at home anymore, but that wasn’t true. My car still listened to my ever command, every turn took the same way, my parents smiles had not changed, my puppy still loved belly rubs, and my boy still laughed at my crappy jokes.

It took me a couple of days but I finally came to the conclusion that home hadn’t changed, and I hadn’t changed, but my view had changed.  After living a life separate from the one I knew in Hood River, I realized that it was natural for my home to feel distant from me.  It was okay that my sink was suddenly way too big, and I couldn’t remember which drawer I put socks in, because what mattered hadn’t changed.

The people and places I loved hadn’t changed.  The safe feeling Hood River gave me wasn’t gone.  I was happy there, but I was able to see that I could be happy here in my tiny dorm too.  What made Hood River so special was the relationships that flourished there.  So, I discovered that home was the cliche I’d always heard… Home is where the heart is.  My heart is in rainy Oregon, and always 70 degrees California.  My heart is with my dogs on walks by the river, at the dinner table with my amazing parents, curled up on the couch with my boyfriend watching “Friends”,  hunched over my desk writing scripts while blasting Adele with my roomies, and in a shed with my girls listening to trashy music and dancing horribly.  Home is no longer one place, its all over, spread out through states and countries.

I already miss Oregon and the people there, but I get to go back soon.  However, this time (even though I am counting down) I am less anxious to come home than I was.  Because I figured out how to have home here with me, or at least I’m learning to.  But there is nothing better than coming home, however you do so.

I’ll see you soon hr, and I can’t wait, but I’m going to soak up the Cali sun while I wait.

Peace